Dear Gems from Jen,
All the guys seem to want younger women. I am bright, attractive and cannot understand what their problem is? Are men afraid of bright and well-educated women? I am starting to think so! Thanks for your input.
Dear Losing Faith,
I just had this conversation last weekend. I went to an event where many of the professors who taught in my graduate program were attending. One professor in particular told me a few years ago she met her husband using JDate. I couldn’t wait to tell her that I was blogging for JDate. Her husband was also at this particular event and he told us that his wife (my old professor) was one of three women he met on JDate and just how easy the process was. This conversation got all of the professors discussing the difficulties each has faced while being single and highly educated. We are all therapists by trade, so naturally the conversation lead to the inevitable analysis of why this process can be difficult for successful women.
Our conclusion was fairly simple, yet rather eye-opening. One of the theories that were passed around was the self-worth the men feel. Being educated can be intimidating to some men if their self esteem is not at a “healthy” level. This is not to say that a successful relationship cannot be had, it is just that education can sometimes lead to feelings of inferiority on the part of the other person. I know in my own dating life I tend to leave out my education level in order to keep my options open. It is not necessarily the right thing to do, just something I usually do. Your question and my professor discussion have made me realize we are who we are. There are men on JDate who are not intimated, and would be ecstatic to meet a bright, educated woman. Keep the faith, they are out there! Usually something that is worthwhile is worth waiting for.
Gems from Jen