After a long day at work I had an interesting call from an old girlfriend. This particular phone call was enlightening to say the least. My old friend has been dealing with some interpersonal relationship issues in almost every area of her life. She had recently met a guy and began a friendship. She swore it was just a friendship, and I do believe she was telling herself this as well. She is an engaged woman and met this guy at work. They seemed to have a lot in common and they were just friends. However, she did start to develop some feelings towards this guy.
When she called me I knew instantly something was wrong by the tone of her voice. The guy friend admitted he was engaged and told her he was developing feelings for her. He told her that a friendship between the two of them was impossible. She agreed to end the friendship and was incredibly angry and felt betrayed due to his lack of honesty regarding his engagement. She vented to me for about 20 minutes. She cried, was angry and appeared as if she had been scorned. I asked her if she shared with him that she too had a fiancé. To my surprise, she had not shared this info with her now ex-guy friend.
After discussing the matter with her, she came to the conclusion that perhaps she was so upset because she had not been honest with him and she knew it all along. She saw in him in what she dislikes in herself. It was as if she was looking in a mirror. A mirror tends to give an accurate reflection. My suggestion is to always look at qualities in another person that you don’t like. See if those qualities apply to you. If they do, change might be necessary.