At some point you may find yourself asking the dating question, “Is it worth the hassle?” It’s inevitable. Picking up (and even hooking up) gets old, blind dates become a scary proposition and you may prefer down time on the couch over a round of drinks with another online stranger. But when the “no’s” start to outweigh the “yes’s,” that’s when you’ve reached your tipping point.
We’re here to help you understand why dating burnout happens to the best of men and what you can do to deal with it.
“No man or woman really ‘hates dating.’ What single men and single women hate is being harshly rejected, being misled, and/or being manipulated by a member of the opposite sex.” Alan Roger Currie
– Learn Not to Take It So Personally: You survive a string of bad dates and by the time you get to the one you like, she blows you off. It’s one of the “anything that can go wrong will go wrong” silent truths about dating and it happens to everyone no matter how super rich or rock solid their abs may be. These tiny blows to the ego eventually add up and can cause a grown man to question and doubt himself. And when it does, you must stop, take a breather and reflect back on the string of women you’ve left behind. When the odds are not in your favor, flashing back may relieve and amuse you, keep confidence levels in check and force you to realize that there are uncontrollable elements like the Laws of Attraction (and timing) that play a critical role in the matchmaking equation.
– Reinforce Your Screen-Testing Skills: If you’ve been played and/or had your emotions toyed with one too many times, you may need to do some recon as to how you vet, rate and select potential candidates. Where some guys are lax, indiscriminate and vague in the types of women with whom they choose to go out, others can be far too rigid, superficial and unrealistic. If disappointment prevails, you will need to put realistic, achievable and measurable criteria in place and stick to those screening guidelines no matter which camp you fall into. We hate to break it to you guys but this may require you to change the types of women you date, how often you go out (serial dating and over-scheduling can cause serious fatigue) and may force you to reconsider the channels you take to generate leads for your pipeline whether it be online, through trusted friends or fortuitous encounters.
– Man-up! Own your Issues: Everyone’s got baggage but if dating is getting you down, the question you must ask yourself is “am I prepared to deal with my own garbage?” Yup that’s right, because the problem may have a lot more to do with YOU than the women you are (or are not) dating. You may be harboring painful memories from a past relationship experience, dealing with mild anxiety/depression which is affecting your attitude or finding it grating to your nerves to listen to anyone that comes your way. Unless you take some time to figure out what you are feeling, your love life will keep flailing. Help is out there, so don’t be too proud to take it.
– Roll with the Changes: Your social life is bound to shift depending on where you are in your life. These transitions will have an impact on the types and number of women you attract. Know this: not all changes are for the worse. The difference between men who are successful daters compared to those who fail at it as time goes by is that the former are able to adapt their attitudes and expectations at each new stage of life instead of fixating on their earlier successes. If you allow yourself to appreciate each new phase, you will find joy in the dating game, even if the rules of the playing field have changed.