With Father’s Day around the corner, many single women are wondering how they can capture the heart of a single dad. “Women are unclear as to what is expected in regards to acknowledging him on this day,” says Christina Roach a professional therapist and founder of Success for Steps.
According to the Census Bureau, single fathers head up nearly two million households across the United States. As caring, emotionally invested providers, it’s no wonder why it’s so easy to fall in love with these men. But, the stakes are higher because they’re also fathers to toddlers, teens or adult children.
Marci, a divorced woman with no children was dating Brad, a father of two. Instead of figuring out how to share the holiday with his kids, she thought she was being thoughtful by dividing the time equally between them. Unfortunately, Brad realized that Marci didn’t really understand or appreciate what was important to him and the relationship only lasted another month. After all, the holiday is created for kids to honor and celebrate their parent.
Tina B. Tessina, PhD and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media), says the message you want to convey is “I respect the relationship you have with your kids,” as well as “I’m thinking about you.” Following are some tips Tessina shares that she says will help warm his heart:
Ask His Children
One approach to win the heart of your man is contact his children (unless they’re infants or too young to help) and plan something with them. Make it a surprise and it will be all the more impressive. Taking a thoughtful step such as reaching out to his children will help your lover see that you not only care about him, but also about the people that are important in his life. Tessina does advise that if you don’t know your partner’s kids well or if they’re still young, kindly take a back seat on Father’s Day.
Sentimental Gift Giving
If you’ve spent time together and have a photo of your man and his children (without you in it, unless you know them all really well), blow it up and package it in a nice frame. It makes a great gift that incorporates the kids and shows him that you understand, respect and appreciate his family. Another thought is to give him a home movie or DVD that you can all watch together. Be very careful about inserting yourself in the family scene on this day, unless you’re invited or know for sure that you are welcome.
Choose another Day
Allow him to be with his children on Father’s Day and plan a romantic date for the two of you on another day. If you just started dating, this is the perfect way to show that you appreciate him for being a father just as much as a partner. Plan a night out, a nice dinner or even a picnic in the park to celebrate your newfound love.
Regardless of what you decide to do together, the point of including his children or making sure that he spends time with them is what will make the difference as to whether or not you’ll capture his heart. It can be challenging to get a single dad to settle down again, but loving his kids as much as you enjoy spending time with him could be the very thing that will have you going from dating woman to wife in no time.
Lori Bizzoco is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. She is working on a memoir detailing how she found love in less than a year. For more dating advice, follow her at www.twitter.com/loribizz or check out www.loribizz.com