On my quest for hot love I have already told many tales via this blog. Some have been good, some have been bad, but all have been transitory. There are no finished stories. I suppose if one story played out completely, I wouldn’t have a reason to write in this blog. I would have already found the love of my life and would have won the lottery. Also, I wouldn’t have time to write here because of my busy television/radio/movie career. I would visit JDate from time to time to check out all the other singles on their quests for happiness.
Of course, I am still one in a sea of unfortunate singles. I visit JDate every day looking for the cement to fill the hole in my heart. It’s usually a fulfilling experience. I might get an email from a cute girl, or start up an online chat with a different cute girl. After that, it is sometimes difficult. I am often skittish about pursuing a relationship. Asking a girl to dinner seems too forward, while not asking her out seems too cowardly. I often take the lesser known middle route and hint at dinner. That often comes out way creepier than either of the first two options and usually ends up sounding like, “So, like, since we know a little about each other, maybe we could get to know each other a little better.” Therefore, I have found that it is never advisable to hint at a date. You’re not writing a bad porno here (unless you want to); you’re asking someone out to dinner. Just go all in.
In the same vein as my “go all in” theory, I sometimes blitz JDate. If there are several people online in my area at the same time, I will instant message them all at once. This can be seen as a last act of desperation, but I see it as efficiency. When doing this, I often get multiple responses. I gave up on limiting my options to people who share the exact same interests as me long ago. This is mostly because there aren’t any people who fit these criteria. Also, I realized that I don’t want to be around people who are too much like me. I can hardly handle just one of me. I will keep blitzing the site until I alienate all girls in the Texas area. That may be the only way to find the one.