Once again, marketers are desperate to feel the love this Valentine’s Day. If you are suffering from the holiday blues, remember that laughter is the best medicine. We scoured the net to give you the silliest, laugh-out-loud promotions. Read ‘em and weep with happy tears:
1. Take all your anger out by knocking out all the pigs on the Valentine-themed version of the smash-hit mobile game, Angry Birds. The love struck levels feature pink and pastel-hued backdrops and heart-shaped structures.
2. Get your sobs out early by tuning into a heart-wrenching Valentine’s Day episode of Glee on February 8th when cupid slings his arrow through the halls of McKinley High, inspiring a rocking version of Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls.”
3. Got a secret crush on someone? Send a Twilight E-Card through Twilighter’s Anonymous. You’ll be glad you did — especially if you finally come out of the coffin to let your sparkle light shine!
4. Got a hot date? Impress her with the early-bird romantic dinner special at White Castle! The evening will be replete with special menus, tableside service and themed decorations, including gifts.
5. Lavish yourself with something extravagant and expense it! Cash Choice has announced that they offer payday loans for Valentine’s Day to give hopeful hearts some peace of mind by handling short-term cash-flow needs.
6. Try speed dating on the chairlift at Black Mountain in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Chairlift Speed Dating begins at the double chair at 2 p.m. with one line of women and one line of men, both paired-up for a ride up the mountain. At the top, decide if you want to ski or snowboard off together, or go back down and try again.
7. Got a friend who needs benefits? Treat her to The Lucky in Bed Necklace. Created by Chicago’s Jess LC, the necklace combines the lucky Chinese colour red with the longstanding tradition of adding “in bed” to the end of any fortune cookie message.
8. Why start a family in Farmville, when you can download a virtual girlfriend with no strings attached? There are hundreds of women from which to choose, each with her own unique personality and appearance (including lingerie), 20+ levels of progressive game play that allow you to advance to new levels of intimacy plus a unique dating profile system where you customize your virtual girlfriend experience. The app is available on the iTunes® app store for the iPhone®, iPad® and iPod touch®.
9. Spread your sperm and some sex germs? Giantmicrobes has some infectiously cute new products just in time for Valentine’s Day. Some of the microbes from the new edition include a plush Kissing Disease, Sperm Cell, Egg Cell, Herpes, Chlamydia, Pox, HPV and Penicillin.
10. Woo someone new with khorasan wheat? Tempt his or her taste buds with this “guaranteed to make you loose” dish:
• 2 cups cracked KAMUT® brand khorasan grain, rinsed until clean
• 5 cups chicken or vegetable stock or water
• 1 clove minced garlic
• 1 minced shallot
• 1 teaspoon fresh thyme, chopped fine
• 1 small bay leaf
• 1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh chervil
• 1/4 cup creme fraiche
• 1/8 teaspoon lemon zest
• Salt and pepper to taste
• White Truffle oil to taste
Have the stock or water on the stove and bring to a simmer. Add KAMUT® khorasan grain to a hot pan with a tablespoon of olive oil and toast for 20 seconds, or until fragrant. Add a 2 ounce ladle at a time of the hot stock and bay leaf and continuously stir until the stock soaks in and starts to become creamy. The cracked KAMUT® khorasan will be done when it has a nice bite to it but not crunchy. Pull the bay leaf out when done. Once done, add garlic, shallots, thyme and incorporate. Add crème fraiche and lemon zest. Stir and season to taste. Fold in or garnish with chervil and truffle oil and top with your favourite seafood or meat (scallop, prawns, beef etc.).