So – you’ve reached the point when the delete profile button offers promise of a better life. You’re horrified by your last date, “OnehotJew,” who declared he’s “really more of a threesome guy” or disappointed because “ShoeJew” thought fashionable footwear was a topic ripe for discussion. Before you remove your profile and send JDate to the naughty networking burial ground with Friendster℠ and MySpace, read on.
I was an experienced Internet dater. But had I pulled my profile every time a date made me desire celibacyforJews.com, I’d never have met the incredible man I’ve been with for several years or had the epic tales I turned into a novel. To reignite the JDate spark when you tire of your own screen name, recall the basic subjects you learned at school:
Math: JDate has over 400,000 members. If you date even a tiny fraction of them, statistically you’ll meet bottom feeders. It’s not because people in the 2D world are inferior to those in 3D, it’s because you meet more of them. Simple addition: new members join every day and with them come new possibilities.
Sociology: Abandon the belief that Internet dating has a distinct crop of singles; every person on the screen exists beyond the web. You could have the same horrible date you had with someone you met online with someone you meet offline. An awful date is not a reason to stop dating, just as an awful Internet date is not a reason to delete your profile.
Psychology: Don’t let unanswered emails upset you. Exchanging even a few emails doesn’t guarantee you a first or second date… and that has to be ok. If contact to a person of interest goes unanswered, don’t sweat it. S/he doesn’t know you. There’s a myriad of reasons your email was not returned, none of which relate to your value to the opposite sex or that one thing you wrote in the email you wish you could retract.
Recess: If you dread looking through your matches as much as the next auto-tuned pop sensation, take a breather. Try not logging in for a week or two to let new members join. But don’t count it out as a viable option for meeting someone.
History: Change your pattern. If you’re repeatedly searching for and dating the same person, all of which end with an ass-out hug and “take care,” that person might not actually be your type. Alter your criteria. Try emailing someone you might not ordinarily date. Maybe you’ll find you do like baking naked.
Phys-ed: You don’t have to spend all day on JDate to meet someone on it. Being “online now” for 24 hours is not efficient, it’s creepy and you’ll wear out its welcome (see “recess”). Being active and pursuing hobbies will not only make you more attractive, but will make your time on JDate an exciting activity rather than a second job.
It’s difficult to meet someone you want to wake up with for the rest of your life; pitfalls are inevitable. But if you can envision JDate as an endless conveyor belt of potential partners, you’ll see logging in offers as much promise as the bell did that signaled the end of a school day.