The day my marriage ended, I signed up on JDate. I know, I know…dating? My ex-husband’s side of the bed was still warm…
But I didn’t join JDate to “date.” I joined because, over the course of a bad marriage, I had completely lost myself and forgotten what it was like to connect with other people. All of my friends were married and I wanted to find other like-minded single people (and if they were cute guys, all the better…) who had the same interests and were potentially free on a Saturday night for lasagna and a movie. Besides, I had three kids and I had no interest in dragging them through the “dating game.”
I just wanted to find myself again. Sure, I was an older, single mom. But that didn’t mean I was dead! I deserved to have fun, find companionship and be happy. The best was yet to come – right?! So I sat down and thoughtfully composed my profile:
Separated, Woman seeking a Man
For: Friend, Activity Partner
From: Los Angeles, CA
Age: 41 years old
“I absolutely love to laugh- I think it’s the key to staying young. I love great food, museums, antiquing, reading and – I hate to say it – America’s Next Top Model. I’m an ex-entertainment-executive-turned-author, turned housewife, turned producer, turned toy-developer, turned stand-up comedian. I am also an amazing cook. I love walking (the ex-New Yorker in me) and great conversation. I like people who speak freely, are open to new ideas, and aren’t concerned about what other people think. But…that being said, I also like people who don’t have a problem just enjoying some solid peace and quiet. I’m looking for a free-thinker who’s quirky, fun, SMART and real. No social-climbers need apply.”
As I wrote this profile and thought about who I was and what I wanted, a wonderful thing happened – I started to find myself again. I wrote about all I’d accomplished so far, what I loved to do in my free time, and I remembered what I liked about ME. Writing about what made me laugh, thinking about who I really was and what I wanted, helped me rediscover who I was inside – and it helped bring me back to life.
That first week on JDate, I met a guy. Well, I met several guys…but one in particular who became my best friend.
Over the course of the next year, this man, who was a fellow writer like I am, an ex-New Yorker like I am, and a Science Fiction fanatic like I am, became my confidant, my go-to-Saturday night guy and the best friend I had ever had. We went to movies together, tried cheap ethnic restaurants together, and texted each other, all day long, ridiculous and inane things that would make us both double over in laughter.
My kids came to know him as one of my best friends and they fell in love with him.
Then one night, so did I.
Almost four years later, we are still together.
Me and my best friend. The love of my life.
And he, too, believes the best is yet to come.