I think that a really good way to meet people is through friends. Certainly this is a very common practice in college due to the close proximity in which people live, and the exceedingly social nature of their surroundings. But I think that once we enter the “real world” this dynamic can become slightly more complicated. If you have read any of my previous blogs you are probably aware that I have a tendency to over-analyze dating situations more than the average person; I don’t necessarily believe that this is always a bad thing, and I would much rather be safe than put a friendship in jeopardy.
Last Saturday night I attended a birthday party for one of my best friends, and during the course of the evening I made it my mission to mingle and get to know some of her friends whom I hadn’t met or spent much time with before. Over the course of the evening I chatted with, and had nice conversations with, most people at the party, and as the night wore on I found myself actively looking to make sure there was no one left I hadn’t at least introduced myself to.
After the crowd had mostly thinned out I decided to approach my friend whose birthday it was to make sure that she was having a good time and, after stating that she was, said she wanted to introduce me to a friend of hers whom she didn’t think I had met. After my friend gave us a brief introduction she quickly left us to talk and, from the moment our conversation began, it was obvious we had a connection. After talking for about half an hour I realized that it was getting late and that I should probably start to wrap things up and ask for her number, but unfortunately I began (in typical fashion) to over-analyze the situation.
My main apprehension in asking for her number was that since we had a very close mutual friend I thought that I should check with her first, out of respect, before asking another one of her close friends out. Even though my decision to handle things this way made the end of our conversation a little awkward, since it was obvious that she was confused why I wasn’t asking for her number, I was resolved to handle things in this manner and take the safe approach.
The next day I talked to my friend and explained the situation, and my thinking, to her. In turn she was appreciative of how I handled the situation, and even though she said it would have been completely fine had I asked for her friend’s number, she thanked me for respecting her position in the situation. Ultimately, everything worked out for the best since my friend was happy with how I handled things, and she was excited to give me her friend’s number. But, you just never know. In the end I know that I made the situation more complicated than it needed to be. But when it comes to matters involving close friends I don’t think you can ever be too careful.