Dear Matchmaker Rabbi:
I am 29 years old, and I still have yet to have a real, meaningful long-term relationship. I feel like every guy I have dated is “unavailable” in one way or another; hat is the type of guy I am drawn to and/or is drawn to me.
I really want to settle down and meet a guy who wants to be with me. But every guy I meet can’t seem to handle me or is not ready for me.What am I doing wrong? Is it bad to want happiness and love?
Anytime we can’t find or achieve something we really want, it’s hard not to get discouraged. But try to keep some perspective. The average age of marriage for men today is 28 — which means half are older than 28. Also, the more education a person has, the later it is he or she will probably marry. You are still well within the “normal” range that life partnerships happen these days.
My best advice to finding that special someone is first and foremost to focus on yourself. Find joy and meaning in your single life; pursue your hobbies and friendships; look honestly at your own bad habits and baggage, and do all you can do to be “ready” when that special someone does appear at your door.
Also be clear about what you are looking for and communicate it clearly with the men you meet. If, after three months, the relationship doesn’t appear to have staying power — don’t stay in it. That, I think, is the biggest regret I have about my own dating life.
— The Matchmaker Rabbi
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