Before I was an online dating coach, I was an online dater. A bad boy with a guitar and tattoos always got my heart racing, but when it came to settling down, I realized that nice guys made better spouses. It took launching my own initiative, ‘Operation Date Nice Guys,’ to make sure I was taking the time with men who did not have a ‘wham-bam-thank you ma’am’ plan. However, some naughty guys lay it on thick in the beginning, but turn out to be a wolf — or more specifically — a dog, in sheep’s clothing. Ready to date a nice guy of your own? Here are five signs you’ve found a true-blue mensch:
1. He hasn’t been online in weeks.
Even if he checks in ‘just to see his messages,’ he could be biding his time with you until something else (better) comes along.
2. You communicate outside of texting.
Advances in digital communication have become a great way to string someone along and make them think they are an important part of your life when you’re really just wasting time while sitting in traffic. If he picks up the phone to actually call, or even better, wants to see as much of you in person as possible, you have someone special on your hands.
3. He takes action on the things you tell him.
Most daters (and people in general) spend less time listening than they do waiting for their turn to speak. If your guy not only heard that you love Cuban Coffee, but also emailed you a link to the best place to get it in town – or better yet, brought some to your next date – he’s golden.
4. He follows through on what he says.
Any charmer can say, “We should do this again,” then text you to see if you got home okay. The real men are the ones who say, “I’d love to take you out on Friday” when you’re still on your first date, then call the next morning to tell you what a nice time they had last night and confirm plans for that upcoming date.
5. He’ll stick with you.
If a man invites you out with his buddies, but stays at your side the whole night, he’s one to watch. The way you’re introduced makes a huge difference too. If he calls you his lady, girl, girlfriend, or the like before saying your name, that’s a keeper. If he introduces you by name and his friends react as if they’ve heard about you before, it’s also a good sign. If you’re only referenced by your first name and you only hear, “Nice to meet you,” he’s probably done this before.
Bad boys are a dime a dozen but a good man is worth his weight in gold. It’s time to give the nice guys a shot. Trust me, when you’re changing diapers at 2 a.m. and he offers to take the next shift, you’ll be glad that you did.
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