Let me start off by asking what DO you want when it comes to dating, relationships and sex? Do you actually know what that is? I don’t mean just in a general two-sentence kind of way. I mean detailed and extensive.
There is nothing wrong with having a clear idea of what you want, aka “The List.” The problem comes from having expectations and being stuck to them.
We often go into a relationship and are either unclear of what it is we are looking for, or are not radically honest with ourselves as to what we want. No wonder there are so many frustrated and fed up single folks out there. If you don’t know exactly what you want, you will never know how to spot it when it actually shows up.
This lack of clarity can also lead to a lot of disappointment when you are finally in a relationship. How can you have your needs and wants met if you do not actually know what those needs and wants actually are? One sure-fire way to avoid that kind of unnecessary suffering during the dating and relationship process is to create your ideal relationship statement, aka your personal “Love Wish List.”
Think of the car phenomenon. When you start thinking of buying a certain automobile, as if like magic, it starts appearing everywhere, right? Popping up at times and in places you may never have expected. Nothing supernatural about the process though. They have been all around you all along. You are simply on the lookout for it now.
Same goes for love. The clearer you are with what you are looking for, the more you will attract (aka see) that in your life. Besides, the role that this person will have in your life is an important one (whether on a casual basis or not). You would not hire just anybody for a position if you had an opening in your business, right? So, be prepared and do not settle. When you think of a master of attraction, do you envision them going for just ol’ anybody? NO! And neither should you!
Your time is valuable. YOU are valuable. Stop giving yourself, your time, and your energy away to people that have not earned it and/or will not appreciate it. In addition, do not waste your time with people who won’t reciprocate your generosity, kindness and affection in turn. People only treat you as you allow them to – good or bad!
In order to get you clear and in the know, here is an exercise to help you begin to create your own love wish list:
1. First off, envision your ideal relationship. Take the time and dream. Imagine what it would be like to have the love of your life in front of you. Picture it as it is first starting to bloom. Fast forward to five, maybe ten years out. Paint that vision with as much detail as you can.
2. Then ask yourself the following questions and write out the answers so you can use them regularly as a reference:
A. When it comes to your ideal partner, how would you describe this person? What are they like? What are their characteristics? What do they value? What are their likes and dislikes? What is it like to be around them? Write out how you want to FEEL when you are with your partner.
B. When it comes to your ideal relationship, what are the dynamics of the actual relationship? What is the relationship itself like? What are some things you do together, activities, etc.? What is the communication like? What is your sex life like?
Just as you created statements for your ideal partner and your ideal romantic relationship, it is time to create a statement for the most important relationship in your life… the one with yourself! When it comes to your ideal self, how do you want to show up in not only your next relationship, but with everyone? Think about what makes you awesome. How would you describe your best self?
I hope this exercise helps you attract the love you want. I know it is possible. I have seen it happen many times over. Have fun creating your list and good luck on your search!