I feel like the past year or so there’s been this surge of articles on introverts vs. extroverts. What’s interesting is that oftentimes when one hears the word “introvert,” they immediately think “shy.” However, extremely outgoing people can be introverts at the same time (yours truly included … I’m a self-proclaimed outgoing introvert). An introvert is one who recharges best on their own, while an extrovert is the opposite: one who recharges best with others. So, how does this work when it comes to dating?
Dating As An Extrovert
When I was on the dating scene back in my NYC days, I was definitely an extrovert. I did not like sitting in my apartment and just watching TV by myself. I always wanted to have plans. I did not recharge best on my own; other people gave me energy. So, when I had dates, I was not only excited to meet this potential suitor, but also I was excited to be out and about.
While one might say, “That doesn’t seem like a bad thing at all.” Well, no, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing (in fact, it can be a great thing). This only becomes an issue if, because of your extroversion and not totally enjoying the company of yourself, you start to rely solely on the company of someone you’re dating. That’s not cool, ladies (no one wants a stage 5 clinger on their hands).
Being an extrovert has plenty of upsides. There’s probably never a dull moment on your dates or in the conversation, and you’re likely always up for a fun outing. Just be cautious if you start noticing a dependency on the person you’re dating. It’s important to be independent outside of the person you’re dating.
Dating As An Introvert
Now, let’s say you’re an introvert. I imagine there might be times you would much rather stay in and chill on your couch than go on a blind date or meet up with someone you’ve been talking to on JDate. But sometimes, you really have to push yourself to get out and be social … because maybe that one night you’re really not in the mood for plans will turn out to be the best date of your life. You’ll never know unless you go.
To make dates a little easier as an introvert, consider choosing a date that won’t put on too much pressure. Meet up for a cup of coffee; it can be short and sweet, so you’ll still have time to recharge at home afterwards. If lots of talking wears you out, maybe getting a quick drink and then heading to a movie is the right balance for you; you’ll still get to know one another a bit, but you won’t feel like your social well has run dry.
Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, there’s someone out there for you. A little self reflection and understanding of who you are helps in all facets of your life, especially when you’re dating and looking for a partner.
You may also be interested in Why You Should Understand Yourself Before Pursuing A Match