If you’re a guy looking forward to his next first date, read this before you step out of the door. Actually, read this before you ask her out. Maybe I am old-fashioned. Maybe I just prefer a man who leads, but if you really want to make an impression on a woman you just met, try these tips that all men follow on great first dates.
1. Come To Her
To me, the man should come to the woman. Not just on old-fashioned principle, but because it can be scary and a safety issue for a woman to be far away from familiar surroundings. So, if she suggests a place closer to her town or neighborhood, it’s nice to go a little farther to make her comfortable.
In the world of online dating, you may meet someone who is far away. In that case, I think it’s fair for a date to meet halfway.
2. Be Ready With Ideas
I like when a guy has an idea for a date – but asks me first what I am thinking. If he then springboards off my thoughts, it really makes me feel like he’s taking the effort to make me feel comfortable. He’s paying attention.
3. Respect Her Boundaries
Flirting is good, but pushing sex or focusing on a woman’s body heavily on a first date is a sure sign you’re looking to get laid. Sure, we all want sex, but if you’re looking to get to know her, peel back on the commentary as she doesn’t know you enough yet to feel that your words aren’t creepy.
4. Let Her Order
My last date was great! We were both comfortable enough to entertain the idea of eating with each other. He let me take the lead on ordering. We shared small dishes so we could both sample – but again … I picked most the dishes. I love food, but some women are self-conscious eating around others. Keep this in mind, and let her lead.
5. Ask Questions
Again, my last date asked me a lot of questions. I felt like he wanted to know more and more about me. Some men, in my experience, talk too much about themselves and are unable to break from this. If you don’t ask her any questions, you come off as uninterested, shallow or narcissistic.
6. Follow Her Lead Physically
If you clearly have physical chemistry, showing affection on the first date is nice … but it’s still tricky. This is not the time make a strong move (like putting your hand on her thigh) first. It’s too much, too soon. Instead, start very slowly. Graze her hand. Touch her shoulder. It should be something that connects you two physically in a gentle way. If she then makes the lead for something more, you can follow where she goes.
7. Initiate More Plans
If you really like her and want to get to know her, don’t be vague. Tell her you’d like to see her again. If she concurs, suggests some days that work for you and a follow-up date plan. If she bites, seal the second date. If she hesitates, tell her to get back to you when she can. She may just need to digest things before rolling forward, but typically, if she likes you, she’ll be up for making that second date. On my last date, that’s exactly what he did. We mentioned a tentative date and plan and said we’d follow up with each other – which we did.
8. Keep Your Baggage To Yourself
Only talk about exes or other sticky topics if she mentions them – or if it’s a potential deal breaker she needs to know about sooner rather than later. Otherwise, bringing up baggage on a first date can leave the other person feeling weighed down and not able to have fun with you. Having fun together is a must – and a crucial first step!
Hate me all you want, but pay for the first date at least. It’s a gesture you’re financially stable and willing to be a gentleman. At least make a valiant effort; some women are more comfortable splitting the check for the first date, so don’t fight her if she seems very committed to paying.
Remember that while there isn’t a science to dating, a lot of it will be left up to chemistry. But you can make some healthy choices on a first date that can help you secure that second date.
You may also be interested in Best & Worst First Date Ideas: Tips For Avoiding A Date Disaster