Online dating has its own set of rules! If you’re looking to take your online love offline, don’t make these three critical mistakes:
1. Get Offline Quick!
Don’t chat or email online for too long; instead take your new romance offline quickly. The progression of your communication should go something like this: an initial online contact, a phone conversation, an offline date.
If you start spending too much time chatting online or exchanging emails, one of two things tends to happen: you either establish an artificial level of comfort way too quickly and end up going out as “friends,” or you just don’t end up going out at all. Why would you? You’re already giving up a ton of information about yourself in a setting where a connection can’t be made. And, often, your charming sarcasm or witty banter won’t translate over the Internet.
Finally, to debunk a huge myth, if a woman is into you or attracted to your profile, she will give you her number if you ask! There’s this interesting “phenomenon” I keep hearing about where guys think they need to build comfort with a woman first, before she will give out her number. This only applies if she’s not really into you. Trust me.
*Exceptions to the rule: chatting online for extended periods of time is fine if you’re talking to someone outside of your local area. Just make sure you keep it light, interesting, and plan on meeting sometime soon.
2. Pictures: Quality and Quantity Count!
Don’t put too many or too few photos on your profile. Too many pictures screams, “I spent way too long making this profile and needed to share absolutely every single type of moment in my life!” Sharing too few photos though makes it seem like you just don’t care. You want to walk the fine line between accurately representing yourself in the best way possible, and coming off as too vain. You need at least three pictures and definitely no more than five or six. Most importantly, make sure they’re recent!
*Exceptions to the rule: you’re Heidi Klum.
3. Don’t be Lazy.
Respond to your messages! I love getting online messages and I respond to every single one, even if it’s a polite way to let the nice man on the other end of that computer screen know I’m just not interested.
However, what I’m actually referring to is not responding to messages from people you’re actually into! Do so in a timely fashion (two-three days at the most) and if you mess up and forget to reply, explain why! Even if it’s an honest reply along the lines of, “I had met someone else and chose not to date for a while.” The new object of your affection will appreciate the honest and hopefully reply within a few days. This is how you make new sparks fly, people!
Melissa E. Malka is a contributor to JDATE. See more of Melissa E. Malka's articles here.
