Hello, I Love You, Won’t You Tell Me Your Name?

You have taken the time to create an outstanding profile and have posted at least three photos, one of which is a close-up shot of your face and another is a body shot. The paragraphs you have written accurately describe your personality and the things you find important in your perfect match. You have set up your preferences for your search, examined many potential matches, and have decided to contact a few of them. It is now time to send a proper introduction letter.

The biggest mistake a guy can make when contacting a woman is writing something like, “You’re hot!” Girls hate this and most of the time will not respond. They might even block you. They already know you think they are hot otherwise you wouldn’t be contacting them in the first place. That type of introduction is rude and shallow, and shows that you really aren’t interested in dating her, just sleeping with her.

A proper introductory letter should somehow demonstrate that you have fully read their profile. Try to differentiate yourself. Tell them what caught your eye. Show them that you have similar interests. Mention that you might have visited the same places on vacations. Be creative, but always let them know that you have read their profile. Tell them why you enjoyed reading about them.

Keep all emails G-rated. Unless both parties are interested in random hookups, it is important to keep your correspondence clean. Should you get a favorable response back, make sure you respond within one day. Don’t take too much time or that person will not believe that you are truly interested in them.

Never use form letters. I have heard too many stories from people on JDate claiming that they and their friends have gotten the same exact email from the same guy. For example, writing something like, “I enjoyed your profile and think you are very attractive. I would like to meet you,” is a bit contrived. Follow the above advice and tailor your emails to each specific person.

After you have corresponded back and forth a couple of times, feel free to request a phone conversation. You don’t want to email back and forth forever. After all, this site is all about meeting people, not emailing people.

I recommend using your Hot List to remember who you have contacted. You will also be able to see who has Hotlisted you. Should a person Hotlist you that has yet to contact you, feel free to reach out to them. Perhaps they are shy or just flirting with you.

Should you contact a person and they don’t respond, move on. They are not interested. There are so many people for you to meet so don’t get bogged down over that one person that refuses to respond. Don’t harass them because that will just make you look worse. If you really think you like that person, perhaps you can contact them again in about a month. Maybe they were dating somebody the previous month or skipped over your email for some reason. However, if they don’t respond after the second email, MOVE ON. Don’t be a stalker. It isn’t worth it and it makes you look bad. Remember, a lot of people know each other on this site. You don’t want that person to tell his/her friends to avoid you because you were harassing them.

By following the above advice, you will find that you enjoy the site much more. You will meet more people and find that more people will respond to your emails.