Over the years, I‘ve learned some tricks of the trade to save as much time as possible while online dating. Call me a gold-digger all you want, but when I evaluate profiles, I employ a specific method of attack. First, I look at the pictures to make sure I can stand looking at him. Next, I go straight to the line that lists his profession to make sure he could provide for my future two children. Then I read what he has to say in the written paragraphs.
If only I knew then all of the tricks of the trade about how to effectively weed through the profiles and emails. In the past, whenever I got back from a bad date, I wished I had a better sense so I didn’t waste the past hour of my (or his) life–and his money–on that $5 cup of coffee.
1. Sketchy pictures = sketchy guy. Never trust anyone who has one of those pictures where they shoot themselves in front of a mirror or where all their pictures are blurred out or include a lot of alcohol.
2. Men who mention certain body parts or who mention the physical aspects of a relationship in their profile. There is absolutely no need for that. Of course you enjoy the physical as much as he does, but there’s no need to mention it. It’s the equivalent of a woman talking about babies in her profile. Of course you want babies, but you wouldn’t dare mention that in your profile, or else you wouldn’t get too many dates.
3. All five of his pictures include his nieces/nephews – cute, but isn’t it obvious what he’s doing? One picture of him with children is enough.
4. He writes one sentence for his description in the “About Me” section of his profile. Didn’t he care…at all?
5. Doesn’t ask you out (or for your phone number) after his fourth or fifth email exchange—he’s probably looking for a pen pal or email buddy, not a date.
6. Is always online, always. Is online while you’re at work. Men on dating sites in the middle of the day are bums looking for their sugar mama. Doesn’t he have something important to be doing like writing important proposals?
7. Sends you a form letter (aka an email that he sends to multiple random girls to see who will “bite”). These are easily detected by long emails that start out with things like “I find you very attractive” and then end with a 500 word essay about his life story. Nothing specific from your profile mentioned such as your rare-coin collection, career as a teacher, or love affair with the Steelers.
8. He waits too long to respond (more than three days) – without an excuse like he’s in Israel fighting Hamas. If a guy is serious about meeting someone, he’ll respond at least within 24-48 hours of receiving a message.
Often-times profiles and emails are not enough to determine whether he is worth meeting in-person. If he requests to meet-up, your best ally in determining whether to meet in-person is the telephone. If he says in his email “let’s meet up for coffee on Saturday,” then your response could be, “sounds super, give me a call at 867-5309 so we can figure out the details.” That way, if you get bad vibes over the phone, you haven’t wasted your time or his money in meeting him. Hope these tips help!
