While you love your mother to death and think the world of her, you don’t always listen to her advice about love. Because she’s your mom and wants the best of the best for you, it might seem like no one is good enough, and her list of criteria can get really rather long. If our Jewish moms could choose our partners, they’d be store-bought, perfect and, oh yeah, one other thing – imaginary.
No one is perfect, but our mothers’ hearts are usually in the right place (even if you don’t always want to hear what she has to say). There could be a lot to learn in the gems she dishes out when you’re stubbornly not paying attention. These mom-approved dating tips could make a big difference when it comes to your love life.
1. Go Out Twice
Sometimes, red flags are unavoidable and you’re wise to avoid date number two. But if you’re not sure … why not give it another shot? Your Jewish mom would tell you that chemistry lasts for a while, but real love lasts a lifetime. Can you really be so sure that this person isn’t the one?
Unless it’s a definite “no,” go on a second date.
2. Don’t Tell Them All
Your date doesn’t need to know about your baggage on date one. Wait to reveal your past, unless it’s really pivotal and unfair to hide. Everyone has some kind of skeleton in their closet, but choose your timing to reveal these things carefully. Your mom would advise you to keep some secrets to yourself until things get a bit more serious.
3. Opposites Don’t Always Attract
We’re all intrigued (or at least most of us are) by people different who are than us. It’s not that opposites can’t get married, but that it’s better to find someone who shares your values. It’s okay if he’s extroverted and you’re introverted, but you two need to see the world in a relatively similar way. You can marry someone who views the world in an opposite way from you, but it will make the “work” of the marriage much harder.
4. Looks Fade, Stability Does Not
A hot body is appealing, no doubt, but so are stability, kindness and honesty. You want someone you can find attractive, but your mom would smartly advise you that bells and whistles aren’t that important. Someone whose bell is not as shiny but whose character rings true and steady is so important.
Think of it this way: what you thought was appealing at 15 is most likely no longer appealing. Consider how someone will age with you over time. Remember that when you marry someone, unless you choose to divorce, it’s for life. Do you see them being someone you want to be with when you’re older?
5. You Marry The Family
Keep in mind that when you marry someone, you marry his or her family – for life. This doesn’t mean you absolutely must love each and every one of your in-laws and the extended family. It means that you need to be able to envision sharing a part of your life with them. You need to envision how you’ll handle the difficult aunt or mom or brother to keep your marriage happy and sane. Your mom would advise you to look carefully at this before even getting too serious with your partner.
Jewish moms get a bad rap for being overprotective and meddling in our love lives, but there’s something to be said for that fiercely shrewd “mama bear” mentality. She knows a lot more than you think. Listen up and learn!
You may also be interested in 4 Reasons To Let Your Jewish Mom Set You Up This Summer