If you are failing to successfully meet women online, odds are there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. However, there may be something wrong with the techniques and approaches you are using to make a connection with these women. To help you understand what I mean, I’ll compare approaching beautiful women in bars to attracting these same women online. For example, when men see an attractive woman at a bar, the following behaviors usually occur:
- Most men have a fear of face-to-face rejection and will stare at a gorgeous woman the entire night without ever saying a word.
- Others attempt to psyche themselves up, working up the courage to approach all night, but often chicken out and make excuses.
- Some approach sober, usually in ways that are boring, repetitive, uninspired, or lacking in confidence.
- Then there are those who only attempt to talk after being filled with confidence thanks to a half dozen beers. These men usually come off as rude, creepy, and over-aggressive.
These various behaviors perpetuate the cliché women often declare: “I would never try to meet a guy at a bar.”
Despite this common proclamation, most guys at bars aren’t actually creeps. Many are completely deserving of great, quality women. It’s not that something is wrong with them; it’s the approach they are using that leaves them at a dead end. If these same men actually came up to women at bars in a non-threatening manner while being unique and interesting, women would be more open to their advances.
Now let’s shift back to online dating.Let’s pretend we made a profile for a beautiful woman at a bar. She is still the same woman, but there would be one drastic change in regards to how she is approached.The amount of men who attempt to pick her up will jump exponentially.
The same men who stare in bars without saying a word, will now attack this woman with messages since the element of face-to-face rejection has been eliminated. Some of the more beautiful women will receive hundreds of emails per week. Does this mean online dating is an impossibly competitive waste of time? Not at all.
Think about it. Just like the bar scene, where guys are approaching women in ways that are boring, repetitive, and creepy, online dating is filled with men who have the same exact uninspired approaches. Yes, the number of men approaching women in this manner online is much higher. For that reason, we must be unique and interesting with our approach.
So ask yourself these questions:
- Are you original with what you say to women online?
- Are you interesting and giving women a reason to WANT to respond?
- Do you have a grasp of the difference between what creates attraction in males and females?
If not, I’m afraid you have some work to do! Just keep in mind, your approach is not limited to writing a great opening email. In the bar scene, your body language, voice, and confidence combine with what you’re actually saying to create the right approach. However, in the online world, your written profile and photo galleries now communicate the messages your voice and body language are unable to display. In order to approach correctly, everything must be in order!
Once you learn to do so, the dates will come in numbers you can no longer count. It’s all in the technique and finding the right approach. It is our job as men to give women reasons to choose us over the other one hundred other men messaging them. Are you giving them enough reason to do so?
Joshua Pompey is a contributor to JDATE. See more of Joshua Pompey's articles here.
