In response to my article about the mistakes guys make with respect to dating and relationships, several women have asked me the same questions about themselves. Many have asked why they aren’t meeting quality guys, can’t get second dates, or can’t keep a boyfriend. Well, ladies, instead of blaming the guys, perhaps it’s time to examine some of the things you might be doing wrong on your dates:
1. Make Sure The Guy Confirms Your Date Before 3pm The Day Of The Date.
When a guy doesn’t confirm the date, he is – for all intents and purposes – showing you that he really doesn’t care about the date. If he did care, he would confirm the date and tell you that he was looking forward to seeing you. When a guy doesn’t confirm by 3 pm, make other plans. Go out with your girlfriends. Go to the gym. Do anything except wait by the phone to see if he calls. Don’t just show up anyway. He might have forgotten the date or made other plans. How bad would you feel being stood up?
2. Don’t Ever Be Late.
When you show up even ten minutes late, you are showing the guy that you do not value his time at all. Should you be late, apologize for showing up late. Constant lateness is a terrible habit and very self-centered. A confident guy will not tolerate it too long and you will find yourself alone again. However, if you are unavoidably late, call him to let him know you are running late. After all, how long do you think he is going to wait for you, especially if you have a habit of showing up late all the time?
3. Don’t Ask Guys How Much Money They Make.
What’s the difference? A guy’s character is not based on the amount of money he makes. Asking a guy for his W2 is basically asking the guy never to call you again. It’s not important at this stage of a relationship. Later on, perhaps after ten dates, he might just volunteer some of that information to you anyway.
4. Don’t Plan Out Date #2 While Still On Date #1.
A guy will be totally turned off. He will think that you are overly clingy. He will question why you are so into him so early on in the date. Instead, feel free to tell him you had a nice time when the date ends. Allow the guy to be a guy. If he is interested, he will call.
5. Eat More Than Just A Salad.
Why are women afraid to eat when on a dinner date? Do they really think guys question women’s eating habits when they eat more than a salad? A guy would sooner question a woman’s eating habits if she only eats a salad before he would question her diet when she eats a normal meal.
6. If You Are Not Interested In Seeing This Guy Again, Don’t Let It Drag On.
Most of the time, the guy will call you after the date to ask you out again. If you are positive that it isn’t right, don’t avoid him. Don’t allow him to call several times and leave messages hoping he will go away or stop calling. Instead, be open and direct with him. Call him back, but soon into the conversation say, “I had a nice time, but I just don’t think we are right for each other.” The truth will hurt, but it’s the way it must be done. Don’t prolong the agony.
7. Don’t Date Just To Have A Date.
Serial dating is a bad thing. When you date a different guy all the time, you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to meet other guys. Don’t be afraid to be single or dateless. Remember, you must be independent before you can be dependent so go out with your girlfriends and have fun. You never know who you will meet.
8. Don’t Mistake Sex For Love.
Guys can easily separate sex and love, but women find it much more difficult. A guy will not love you because you had sex, but will have sex with you when he is in love. Remember this one as your motto.
9. Don’t Jump Into Bed Too Soon.
A guy will not respect you and he may assume that you jump into bed with a lot of guys. Hey, after all, why would you jump into bed with him on date #1 and not every other guy? Make sure both of you are in love before you take your relationship to this level.
10. Don’t Expect Guys To Know What You’re Thinking.
Even Einstein had no idea what women were thinking, and he was a genius. Guys just don’t pick up on your clues or your implications. We think very differently and are more direct. If something is on your mind, say it, don’t just think it.
It’s that simple, ladies. Avoid these mistakes and you should be well on your way to finding Mr. Right.
Brad Berkowitz is a contributor to JDATE. See more of Brad Berkowitz's articles here.
