One of the tricky parts about dating is that many outside parties like to insert their opinions in regard to your relationship. And while there may be some invaluable input from trusted individuals that you will always take into consideration, there are plenty of dating cliches you’re bound to hear from everyone else. These phrases can be helpful to some degree, but it’s always important to get down to the essence of what they imply. This way, you can take them with a proverbial grain of salt.
My grandmother always says that she doesn’t give her opinion unless asked. I always laugh when she says that because she loves to offer unsolicited advice, but she simply phrases it in a way that can’t be argued as anything but endearing. Not all people are so smooth in their delivery, but many still have good advice that shouldn’t be ignored. When we hear the same old “cliche” phrases, we all easily dismiss them because we hear them all the time, yet these phrases shouldn’t be ignored.
In this blog, we’ll take a look at a few different common expressions and discuss which dating cliches to avoid and which of them actually hold substantial water in the grand scheme of your relationship. The following phrases became dating cliches for a reason and truly have merit for today’s singles.
1. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
Anyone who has been married for longer than a few years – especially those that have been married for decades – will provide this advice to singles and new couples about what it takes to have a successful marriage. And it’s true. Loud chewing, leaving socks on the floor, forgetting to take out the trash and so on are not reasons to nag, complain or argue. No one is perfect, and making mountains out of every molehill will only leave you constantly living a life of negativity. Pick your fights is another cliche that fits well here; ask yourself if it’s worth it and try to accept it as a part of your loved one. And don’t forget – they put up with all your little annoying habits, too.
2. When It Rains, It Pours
Sometimes your dating life will feel like you are stranded in the Sahara with no one around for miles, and other times, your dating life will feel like you are swimming in a sea of eligible fish. When you’re swimming, be ready to balance dating multiple people and enjoy the attention while you figure out who is best suited for a long-term commitment. And when your dating life is in the desert again, do what you can to turn your luck around and remember to enjoy this time of being single.
3. There’s A Pot For Every Lid
You are somebody’s type. Very likely, you are lots of people’s type. Blond or brown hair, short or tall, thin or curvy, quiet or loud, career-driven or simple life, urban or suburban … don’t try to change who you are, what you want, your values or your appearance to fit someone else’s ideals. Someone will come around who likes everything about you just the way you are. That said, don’t stop trying to better yourself (or dyeing your hair if you feel like it) if you want to do that, too!
4. Timing Is Everything
Just because your hypothetical timeline says you need to meet your future spouse, have a kid or be in a stable career by a certain date in order to attain all your goals in life doesn’t mean it will happen that way, no matter how hard you force it. In fact, forcing it will likely result in you settling or just getting more frustrated. Things will happen when they’re supposed to. That may be a tough philosophy to accept when your biological clock is ticking so loud you can’t hear anything else, but forcing yourself into something because “it’s time” will get you nowhere in a hurry. It may not be the time you think is right, but when the right person comes along, it will make so much more sense as to why it happened when it did.
5. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Receiving texts, emails and love letters is amazing, but having the person actually back up their sweet words with actions is even better. Your love life as an adult shouldn’t feel like you’re back in middle school passing notes with little hearts but ignoring each other in the hallway. When someone calls when they say they’re going to call, is present and listening when you’re on a date, and is honest about their feelings and what they can offer a relationship, you’ll know why this cliche exists. That said, if you’re only getting words and that’s not enough, then take action of your own by asking for action in return.
6. You Need To Love Yourself Before Someone Can Love You
This may be saving the best for last (yet another appropriate cliche), but it is likely the most important. If you aren’t happy being in your own skin, then how can you expect someone else to want to be with you? Less is more (I know, I know, so cliche!) which means I don’t need to keep going on this topic.
7. Communication Is Key
If you’re a single Jewish person who is embarking on a dating journey, you’ll be told time and time again that the key to a lasting relationship is good communication. And while this could seem obvious or like an oversimplified concept, there’s great truth to the statement. There’s no better way to navigate through life than by talking through your experiences and emotions every step of the way. Without good communication, doubt and uncertainty ensue.
For this reason, having open communication is extremely important while navigating any stage of a relationship. The more honest you’re able to be about your expectations and feelings, the more clarity you will have about where you stand and which adjustments need to be made going forward, if any. Vulnerability can lead to earned trust between both parties, and this proactive step can eliminate misunderstandings and lead to an increasingly solid bond altogether.
With good communication, you’ll be able to form a stronger connection with one another that is built around transparency and understanding. When you’re able to empathize with your partner and know where they’re coming from in any given situation, you’ll even begin to pick up on signs using non-verbal methods. Over time, couples who communicate effectively will be more confident expressing themselves, allowing emotional nuances such as humor, sorrow, or sarcasm to resonate. It also paves the way for a direct avenue to conflict resolution during trials and tribulations.
8. Be Yourself
Potentially one of the most universally known clichés in dating and beyond, the phrase “be yourself” implies expressing your own individuality. It also holds extra validity in the context of online dating. For Jewish singles, this could mean embracing your heritage and not allowing the outside world to influence your beliefs and values, but it also refers to authenticity. Once you feel comfortable enough to unveil your true personality to a partner, they’ll begin to perceive your emotional vulnerabilities as a genuine reflection of yourself.
Celebrating what makes you unique is liberating, so attracting potential companions who are drawn to your character and lifestyle will lead to enhanced compatibility in a prospective relationship. When you’re able to define your own boundaries and act naturally with a partner, it shows they’re willing to let you “be yourself,” so anyone who tries to control you or tell you to change probably isn’t a good match. Couples who are able to connect by sharing similar outlooks and goals while also allowing each other freedom of expression are those who will have the greatest likelihood of forming lifelong relationships.
However, this is only possible once boundaries and expectations have been established, and single Jews from different backgrounds may have certain cultural and spiritual requirements they must share with a love interest. Whether these are personal or traditional preferences, it’s important to make your partner aware of the differences between the wants and the needs in your relationship. Certain levels of unbridled freedom, such as uncleanliness and unfaithfulness, are obviously unacceptable to many, so it’s important to communicate what you expect from one another early on.
9. It’s a Two-Way Street
This proverb is quite applicable in any sort of relationship, but your role as one of two halves of a romantic couple means you will both need to put in effort if you want your endeavor to pan out. Many of the dating cliches we’ve discussed on this list are a part of this concept, including patience, compatibility, and communication, but the most important thing about a two-way street is that each party feels that their emotions, actions, and values are being reciprocated. Any dating effort requires hard work and intentionality to continuously strive to learn from mistakes or encourage each other through life’s challenges.
The signs of a healthy relationship are mostly obvious when you see both individuals contributing on equal accounts in all aspects of life. This means they respect each other’s time and space but are also willing to be there for the other person whenever they’re needed. It means they’re emotionally present and physically accommodating and that they also share the same genuine beliefs and interests that make their lifestyles mesh perfectly. You can easily see where, if these viewpoints were opposing, it would be very difficult to maintain a stable relationship.
But just because you strive for this happy medium doesn’t mean you’ll get there immediately. Couples need to work together and take proactive action steps along the way in order to continue to learn and grow together. Whenever a certain dynamic becomes too one-sided, the other party can start to feel slighted or lesser than in some way, and this is generally unhealthy. Instead, you both want to take each other’s thoughts and emotions into account during all of life’s occurrences, no matter how large or small. This will help each individual develop a mutual understanding and increase in trust over time, and this way, you can depend on each other with confidence and transparency for whatever life presents in the future.
It may be obnoxious to read a profile that is laden with cliches, but if there’s just one or two sprinkled about, then try to cut them a break because they may really understand the meaning behind the phrase.
You may also be interested in 8 Myths About Dating That Should Be Busted For Good
