Romance Is Not Dead: Finding Unexpected Ways To Be Romantic

Romance seems to be one of those things where you either love it or hate it. You either thrive on it and believe in it and want it so badly, deep within your bones, or you think it’s silly and cheesy.

I suppose there’s an in between, but most people I’ve talked to are on one end of the spectrum or the other. They either think it’s absolutely necessary for a successful relationship, or they think it’s borderline ridiculous.

But here’s the thing. What if romance didn’t have to be cheesy? Who cares if you consider yourself “romantic?” Sometimes, a not-so-traditional romantic gesture can be exactly what your significant other is looking for. In fact, they may not even be looking for it, but maybe you’ll catch them off guard and they’ll be completely taken aback (in the best way possible).

So, what are some “romantic” gestures that can flip this stereotype on its head and potentially give your relationship a boost? Here are a few ideas.

How Can I Be More Romantic?

One of the most clear and direct ways to appear romantic to your partner is to understand and act in accordance with their love languages. You won’t need to wonder how to be romantic if you’re able to consistently deliver words of encouragement and spend quality time with them during the moments they desire it most. Many times, the most romantic gestures you can make are helpful and affirming, whether they’re verbal or non-verbal. Once you show how much you care about all the surrounding aspects of your relationship, you will be able to build intimacy more easily.

Knowing what your partner likes and needs to be fulfilled is a substantial advantage in your overall dynamic because it proves you’re putting in effort and taking things seriously. The more thoughtful, little actions you can take on a regular basis to curate memories over time, the easier your significant other will really be able to see how intentional you’re being. Whether it’s practicing better communication, focusing on physical intimacy apart from your hectic lives, or just being present and showing you’re mutually interested in spending quality time together, the more you’ll realize how compatible you really are. Once all of these principles are established, the more effortlessly significant romantic events like fancy dinners and ad-hoc picnics will come about naturally.

Can you Train Yourself to Be More Romantic?

One of the best ways to analyze your own romantic capabilities in a relationship is to practice being self-aware, from the beginning of your first interactions on through when things become serious between you two. Being self-aware allows you to not only exercise patience and compassion early on but also teaches you valuable lessons along the way that you will need to reflect upon and adapt to in order to be a harmonious partner.

Every couple will need time to work out their kinks and have the opportunities to make mistakes from which they can grow, and it’s this iron sharpening iron that will really reveal your true potential going forward. While romantic gestures can come in the form of physical acts, terms of endearment, and, of course, thoughtful gifts, it will take some time and patience to learn what they like and what they aren’t the biggest fans of. Sometimes, a nice thought doesn’t translate, and some people prefer less flashiness than others, so it’s all about making sure you’re both on the same page. Once you have sparked a noticeable connection, romance will begin to become second nature.

How Different People React to Romance

Romance surely isn’t a once-size-fits-all concept, as previously mentioned. Men, women, and those with varying sexual identities and preferences all have a different idea of what building this compassion, empathy, and intimacy looks like, so it’s up to you to assess a person you’ve matched with or have begun dating to ensure that both of your preferences align. However, even if you like many of the same things, it doesn’t mean your expectations for romance will be similar.

Women tend to have different romantic interests than men, and vice versa. Younger, more inexperienced couples need more patience and time to figure out if they’re right for each other, while more seasoned daters or those coming out of a previous relationship have a much clearer idea of what they’re expecting before you are even introduced. In essence, different stages in the dating journey will largely determine how these expectations evolve over time.

Many men prefer direct communication and subtle admiration, while women are often intrigued by emotional connection and affirmations. Both of these general preferences can be accomplished by displaying thoughtful and attentive behavior that meets the other person’s needs and desires. Early on, showing you can be spontaneous and unique is invaluable, but as things become serious, being consistent and creative is more important.

Romance in Different Types of Relationships

As we briefly touched on, the dynamics of any romance between a particular man and woman are going to vary greatly, but when you connect and begin to establish a bond with someone you share the same beliefs and values with, that romance has the ability to take a few different shapes and forms.

Long-distance relationships, for instance, require regular communication and thoughtful gestures from afar to persist against the lack of physical interactions. New relationships demand an ability to show curiosity and interest in a genuine way, while long-term relationships ask that you spend the time to learn and admire these qualities to the point where they become something you cherish on your own. Once things are serious and even after you get married, always continuing to learn about the wants and needs of your significant other is paramount to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship.

It’s All About Diet Coke

For example, my vice is Diet Coke. I know it’s bad for me and I know I shouldn’t drink it, but I can’t help it. I’m addicted. I drink one (sometimes two) a day.

Meanwhile, my husband loathes all types of soda (or pop, for you Midwestern folks), and he kind of hates that I drink Diet Coke.

Well, on our anniversary this past year, he came home from work with a … wait for it … LARGE DIET COKE. Nope, not flowers. A Diet Coke! I, quite literally, almost cried. It was the most romantic thing he’s ever done for me! Who needs flowers when you get Diet Coke? Really, that’s how I felt.

But, in all seriousness, it wasn’t the fact that he brought me a $1.99 fountain soda, but it was the fact that he thought to bring me something that makes me so happy (whether good for me or not). And it was something he wouldn’t normally think about. Seriously, I’ll never forget it.

No Flowers Or Chocolate Necessary

The point is you don’t need to go for the flowers and chocolates and stereotypical “romantic gestures.” Think outside the box. Think about things she’s always mentioning or something you know she loves, but might seem silly (Diet Coke!), and go out of your way to show her you know what would surprise her and make her so happy at the same time.

Sometimes, romance can get a bad rap. But it doesn’t need to be that way! You don’t need to buy out every single candle in the city and put on the Marvin Gaye soundtrack to be romantic. Just get her a coke.

You may also be interested in Close For Comfort: The Benefits Of Touch In Romantic Relationships

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