Wedding season is upon us, which means that single guys and gals everywhere are searching for a plus one. But bringing a date to a wedding can be tricky, especially if you’re in a new relationship. Does elevating your new love interest to wedding-date status make things too serious too fast? Will your latest beau feel snubbed if you don’t ask him to join you, or will he feel awkward?
Fortunately, the answers to these questions can be found in this handy guide. Use the following advice to find out if your plus-one situation will pan out the way you want.
The Common Dilemma of Choosing a Plus-One
We’ve all been there before — you receive a decorated envelope, tear it open, and realize you have a wedding ceremony to attend. And while the offer is on the table for you to bring a plus-one, should you? When it comes to bringing a date to a wedding, there are going to be some things you need to consider beforehand. The first is the etiquette surrounding this invitation.
Plus-ones are usually assumed to be spouses, engaged couples, or people who have remained in long-term relationships, so bringing the person you just started dating along isn’t advised. Not only may they feel uncomfortable if they don’t know the bride and groom, but being a stranger among the crowd is never fun, especially on such a personal occasion. To refrain from putting anyone in an awkward situation and out of respect for the wedding party, it’s important to communicate this with your new date to ensure they understand you’re not slighting them.
The same applies to guests known to be single or not offered a plus-one clearly. It is inherently rude to bring guests without connection besides you to a wedding unless you have explicit permission, so be sure to talk with the couple before making any rash decisions. Be honest in your RSVP regarding your situation, and try to avoid any last-minute surprises.
Significance of Wedding Etiquette
It’s also important to factor in the type of wedding you’re attending before inviting someone to come along with you. Due to the significance of the matrimony, you don’t want to upset any cultural traditions or formalities that may be expected of guests, so taking the time to consider the customs and etiquette required is in your best interest. This will also give insight into your plus-one’s importance to the party because some cultures don’t approve of casual dating.
Once you’ve determined if it’s appropriate for your significant other to join you, you want to brief them on the climate they should be anticipating and be sure to note any specifics about the family or other guests they may need to know. The more gracious and respectful you can be, the smoother the whole experience will be for everyone.
Think About The Timeline
If you’ve only gone on one or two dates, it’s simply too early to ask about being a plus one. You’re still figuring out whether you two have potential, so it’s definitely too soon to ask him or her to an event where they’ll have to meet lots of your friends and/or family.
Another thing to consider is that you’ll have to make future plans to attend a wedding together. If you’re still booking dates together only a few days in advance, committing to a wedding that’s a month or two away is pretty risky. First, see if you can make a plan for at least a couple weeks from now and stick to it. If that works out and you two are still interested in one another, a plus-one invite is more reasonable.
Consider Your Compatibility
Sure, you and your latest love interest have a lot in common. But are your dates filled with laughter and good conversation, or are there some awkward moments? Are you two able to hang out for hours and hours with ease, or are you ready to part ways right after dinner?
Keep in mind that you and any plus one that you bring to a wedding will likely hang out together for most of the day. If you’ve only gone out for a coffee a few times, it’s difficult to know whether you two will like hanging out together for such a long time, so it might be safer to go solo to the wedding.
Ask About Introductions
A telltale sign that you’re ready to ask someone to be your plus one is if you can confidently introduce them as your boyfriend or girlfriend. But if you’re not so sure about putting labels on things, you might still be able to bring them along; you just need to be clear about how they’ll be introduced before showing up.
If your plus one is someone you’re seeing on a more casual basis, that’s okay. But you might want to ask before the wedding how they’d like to be introduced. For example, you could say “This is my date, Jeremy.” If you go with just “This is Jeremy,” be prepared for questions like “How do you two know each other?” or “Where did you meet?” Ironing out a few of these details beforehand can avoid a lot of awkward introductions at the wedding.
Communicating with the Couple
It’s a great honor to be included in the wedding day of your closest family, friends, and peers, so you want to acknowledge your happiness and excitement for the couple as much as possible. This begins by RSVP’ing promptly with careful attention to the wedding details, but also looking over the couple’s wedding registry to examine what gifts you can contribute as a token of your appreciation. This shows your gratitude and helps the newlyweds in the future.
Most importantly, it’s imperative that you find, congratulate, and encourage the couple by giving them a big hug in celebration of being betrothed. This confirmation that you not only happily attended but enjoyed the ceremony is incredibly meaningful to them and is emphasized by the personal interaction. If you’re able to assist them with anything during the commotion of their wedding night, it is also usually greatly welcomed.
Attending a Wedding Solo
If you’re not able to attend a wedding with a plus-one for one reason or another, don’t feel bad! Instead, embrace the moment and enjoy the celebration for what it is — a gathering to celebrate the marriage of someone close to you. This can give you more time to mingle and meet new people who are also in attendance, all on your own terms. If you’re feeling like dancing, go right ahead. If you’d rather catch up with old friends or family members, you don’t have to worry about explaining who all these people are or what you’re talking about to a date, which can also take some pressure off your back.
Etiquette Tips
Finally, here are a few wedding etiquette reminders as you search for your plus one:
- Double-check your invite before asking a date to join you. Some couples aren’t able to extend a plus-one to all their friends, so be sure your invite is sent to “[Your Name] and Guest” before you assume that you can bring a date.
- RSVP accurately and on time. You can’t wait until a few days before the wedding to ask your date to join you. Note when the RSVP is due and get a firm “yes” or “no” from your potential plus one before responding.
- Show your date a good time. Most likely, he or she won’t know anyone at the wedding except you, so don’t wander off to chat with old friends all night. Include your date in conversations, introduce him or her to people you know and boogie on the dance floor together.
Are you ready to ask your latest love interest to be your plus one? With wedding season full swing, it’s time to consider whether your new romance is ready to be wedding-tested.
You may also be interested in Single Wedding Guest Dos & Don’ts
